My thoughts on the everydayness of life

John has worked very hard today, he has been on the exercise bike, the balancing board. He has done the audiblox programme, the Keda reading and had still been trying to read Planet Narnia. The new speech therapy work arrived today, it involves more written work, poor John worked so hard at trying to write things like how you can tell if a peach is ripe in a complete sentence. He also had to finish certain sentences, he found it very tiring and fraustrating, I think this aspect of the recovery is going to be one of th biggest challenges for John. On a more positive note we have bought our daughter's wedding dress and have ordered the bridesmaid dresses. We have bought everything from the UK even though we found some beautiful dresses from the US, in the end we felt it was unwise to gamble with an overseas shop. Particularly when the shop in the US wanted as much as the cost of the dress to ship it over to the UK and there would be vat and import duties to be paid on top of everyt...

The lyrics to this carol have been requested by a friend. Chorus: Past three a clock And a cold frosty morning Past three a clock Good morrow, masters all! Born is a baby Gentle as may be Son of the eternal Father supernal. Chorus: Past three a clock And a cold frosty morning Past three a clock Good morrow, masters all! Seraph quire singeth Angel bell ringeth Hark how they rime it Time it and chime it. Chorus: Past three a clock And a cold frosty morning Past three a clock Good morrow, masters all! Mid earth rejoices Hearing such voices E'er to fore so well Caroling Nowell. Chorus: Past three a clock And a cold frosty morning Past three a clock Good morrow, masters all! Hinds o'er the pearly Dewy lawn early Seek the high Stranger Laid in the manger. Chorus: Past three a clock And a cold frosty morning Past three a clock Good morrow, masters all! Cheese from the dairy Bring they for Mary And, not for money Butter and honey....

We have been unable to get much work done with the Christmas period, John feels his language has gone backwards a bit, he is keen to start again tomorrow. We are going to try to work on writing and building up ways of coping with stress, because John gets fraustrated when he can't think of what to say or write, we will try to work out ways for John to handle this. He also finds he can't work as well if there is a background noise such as music. We will build up John's tolerance to noise by playing music for part of the audiblox,or reading, as his tolerance improves we will increase it. John's reading is improving he has finished reading ,"The Hittite Warrior" and is now reading, "Planet Narnia", he has to keep on re-reading but is improving. I think we'll introduce more timed exercises so John gets used to working under pressure. We would value your prayers we move into this next stage, that we will not make it too stressful for John but will g...

It has been a busy week, some of us went carol singing. John enjoyed the practise before hand, the great thing is he knows most of the carols off by heart which means he can sing without reading. We saw the nhs speech therapist on Thursday, she spent almost two hours with John. She said he had made rapid progress and in her experience that is always good for recovery. She is going to work with John every week after Christmas, she said he was a priority because the stroke was affecting his ability to work. We see this as a real answer to prayer, so thank you to all who have been praying. John managed to pray in the prayer meeting on Thursday, a number of our friends at the Church gave him a hug afterwards which was very moving. He has also been able to read the Bible the last few evening just before we go to bed. All this is very encouraging, but we have a long way to go before John is up to returning to work. We would value your prayers for this, because John was absent from work a few...

We had our family carol concert this evening which was lovely. John practised a poem and managed to read it. He also managed to sing most of the carols. John has always loved Christmas, I think this evening did him a lot of good. A friend from work came to visit this evening as well.

It has been hard to get the therapy done over the last few days, just with busyness. On Friday evening it was the ypf party. On Saturday Morning John had an eye test and then we went to the Open Air, Joel Naomi's fiance came in the afternoon which was very nice. Today John managed to go to both services, we had carols and mince pies after the service. John knew the carols and so was able to join in. His head was really hurting, but I think he enjoyed joining in. We have a nhs speech therapist appointment on Thursday, which is a real answer to prayer. Joel has just put some new audiobooks on John's mp3 player which will be great because he has listened to all the ones he has.

The kitchen is finished apart from the floor, it's lovely to get back to normal. Because I have been busy tidying up today John did some compublox on the computer. I also managed to download a free trial for an online speech therapy program called "react" and John had a go with that today. We also managed to get to grips with our online banking which is good. John wrote some of our Christmas cards, he found it hard because he couldn't remember how to spell very simple words, he knew he'd written the words wrong but couldn't remember how it was supposed to be spelt. It was the YPF party tonight, we had a great time, John was able to make some really helpful comments during the Bible study. When we got home we did some of the Keda reading course, this involved timed exercises, John had to read the paragraph three times until he was able to read it fluently and within 30 seconds. This was followed by John reading the same passage without being timed, I then had...

The kitchen is almost finished and we are getting the house back to normal, the tiles need to be done tomorrow and the flooring, but we have managed to nearly tidy up downstairs, we were still very busy today but we managed some audiblox, language type things, finding synonyms, hononyms and antonyms. The children joined in with these games, so we felt it was an English lesson for them as well. We also did some work on hearing a sentence and having to remember the salient words. John and Alex found this very hard, but it was good to practise. I found an old reading programme call, "Keda Cowlings Stride Ahead, a guide to reading comprehension." It was very good for language as well as reading because it began with made up strings of syllables that had to be read. John found some of the syllables a challenge to pronounce, but it really got his tongue going. I think it will help the reading as well. John managed to read some of the Bible last night which was a big encouragement. ...

Today had been a hard day for John, the kitchen was delayed because they had sent the wrong worktops, the clutter has been getting to John, we had the plasterer and the shelf unit that had broken on Monday meant the books were all over the place. We had bought a new shelf unit and when we opened it all the screws were missing. Esther's violin teacher arrived, we had to find him a corner to teach in. We haven't really managed any re-hab work today which is always difficult. Our very good friends from the Church had us all round for a lovely meal tonight. We had a lovely time of fellowship and it turned what had been a rotten day into a good day. We all enjoyed a lovely home cooked meal which we could sit and eat at a table, in a nice calm environment. John really brightened up, even managing to make us all laugh with funny stories about his dad.

This is a statement I first came across as a student Nursery Nurse and over the years I have wondered if it's true. Is it really the key to knowledge? What is it like to live without language? Alex our third son has autism and his language was delayed, I have asked him if he remembers life before he really understood language, he says that he used to understand everything in pictures, his memories are in pictures yet he can give words to those pictures now. John has always been a language based person, he has never really used images to remember things, I am a very visual person, I will often remember a page of a book in order to remember things. The reason I am rambling on about this is because seeing John lose his language has shown me that this statement is so true. As we have helped John to recover it has become clear that most of John's knowledge is still in his brain ,but he has needed the key of language to unlock that knowledge. John has been talking about the gift of l...

John joined in with the Psalm singing tonight which is wonderful. He has also been getting Naomi to teach him the base for the carol ,"Past three O'clock". It's lovely to hear him sing he hasn't been able to sing since the stroke. We have made an appointment with a private speech therapist, she is coming on Monday, we both feel better knowing she is coming. She will do an assessment and tell us what we should be doing.

We were awake pretty early this morning, we had to get ready for the new kitchen to come. I dropped a worktop on my toe, not sure if I've broken a toe but it hurts. We saw our G.P. this morning who was much more positive about John's recovery, this made us both feel a lot happier. He said the headaches John's getting are stroke headaches and could last months, but at least we know what we are dealing with. We had to inform the dvla about the stroke today as well. They will make a decision about when John can drive again, please pray for this because John finds it hard not being able to drive, he has mobility difficulties with the arthritis in his back and the angina, he feels like his legs have been cut off when he can't drive. He is dependent on others to go anywhere. John managed audio blocks but it was harder today with all the noise. We had to go and buy tiles and we managed to buy the new table tennis and pool table for the Y.P.F at the Church. So overall John has...

Have you ever wondered why the Lord allows a certain life pathway to take? I sometimes sit and ponder why God has led me thus way. Why has He deemed it right that He should purpose that my life thus far has led? It is not that I complain in any way why the Lord should purpose to life to be in one way or another. Indeed the Lord has directed me in so many blessings and such gracious mercy that I can only say, how blessed am I indeed. Nevertheless, I do wonder why a particular purpose has been chosen. We ask so often that He will show us more of His grace; that we should grow more filled with the love of Christ in more and more every day. My problem is that this is an empty cry. What I mean is I want to know more of grace and mercy and love, but I don’t what it as cost or at least the cost of Christ. Like the young man who loves the idea of some athletic endeavour but does not want to have to punish his body to make it move his body. He likes the idea, but only if it is on hi...

About eight weeks go one of our kitchen cupboards fell off the wall narrowly missing our oldest son Ben, as we realised some of the other cupboards had develped cracks around the screws,we felt that perhaps it was time to get a new kitchen. We looked around and finally settled on Deeline kitchens, a well established local company. Well anyway the new kitchen is due on Monday. We have just taken the wall cupboards off the wall, and everywhere is messy. To make matters worse our fridge stopped working last Monday and the man came today and condemned it. The new fridge won't arrive until Tuesday, so we are shopping every day. We will probably have pasta on Sunday. Sorry to ramble on, the next week or so is going to make it harder for John to do the work he has been doing towards his recovery. I am going to be busy decorating tomorrow, in preparation for the kitchen. We hve tried to put as much as we can in the cellar, so if you can remember us over the next week or so we would appecia...

As the evening has worn on I have been feeling more and more shocked at the lack of support we have had. We were sent home from hospital with no speech therapy and no advice. We are now nearly onto the third week and have been told John wouldn't recieve speech therapy for six weeks. As you know we have been working hard at home and John is making a lot of progress.Nevertheless this appointment was distressing and undermining, we both felt that John was spoken to as if he was stupid and it was all very negative.Even telling John there was a 1 in 10 chance of developing epilepsy. A lot of people would be waiting for the "experts" to help and would not really know how to go about helping themselves.But imagine if we were people who waited for the experts to help, the speech therapist we spoke to told us that most of the progress is made in the first nine to twelve weeks, but in almost the same breath she was telling us it would be nine weeks in all before John saw a speech ...

We had an appointment with the consultant today. It was a difficult meeting for John, the consultant said a significant area of John's temporal lobe had been damaged and it would take a long time to get better and may not get back to where he was. We also spoke to the stroke unit speech therapist but she said it would be six weeks before John would be able to see a speech therapist and be properly asessed. She gave us some sheets to be working on a home. John says he can't afford to think negatively he has to concentrate on getting better. He came home and has been on the exercise bike, the balancing board and had me doing some of the speech therapy exercises, he is currently reading a ladybird book on Willain Tell.

I opened the door this morning to a delivery man who asked me if it was my birthday, he had brought a beautiful bouquet from our dear friends. It was a really lovely surprise. We have been overwhelmed by peoples kindness during this time. John felt overwhelmed with the chatter during audiblox this morning, he seems to be getting the classic colour blind colours mixed up. We had lunch and a dear friend from the Church came to visit. We had a lovely time of fellowship and John was able to talk really fluently, we talked about the importance of real Chritian love and fellowship, how to foster it within the Church and among one another. We talked about the need to love one another, the need to be real and honest about our lives. To be honest about our struggles, to not pretend that everything is ok when it's not. To share one another's burden's and not live our lives in isolation. We discussd the value of sharing fellowship over food, evangelism and being involved in the commun...

I hear religious minded people say all the time with good intentions. ‘God will never place a burden on you so heavy that you cannot possibly carry it.’Really? My experience is that God will place a burden on you so heavy that you cannot possibly carry it alone. He will break your back and your will. He will buckle your legs until you fall flat beneath the crushing weight of your load. All the while He will walk beside you waiting for you to come to the point where you must depend on Him. ‘My power is made perfect in your weakness,’ He says, as we strain under our burden. Whatever the burden, it might indeed get worse, but know this-God is faithful. And while we change and get old, He does not. When we get weaker, He remains strong. And in our weakness and humility, He offers us true, lasting, transforming, and undeserved grace.” -Greg Lucas

John really struggled this morning, he found everything harder, his head was just more befuddled. He managed to spend some time on the exercise bike, Esther voluntered to have a go at the audiblocks because I needed to do some work at preparing the kitchen for the new kitchen coming next week. John found could only manage some of it before his head was finished. After lunch John's mum and brother came, his head was really hurting down the left side. But after a pain killer it eased somewhat. They both felt he was talking a lot better than when they last saw him. A really interesting thing happened, John was showing them his mp3 player he got from work, he also got the cards from work that had been signed from everyone. John had not been able to read the names or take it in when he got the card but this time he began to read all the names. He started to talk about everyone in work, how kind they are and different things that had happened in work. It was as though the card triggered ...

Things were harder for John this morning, but he was so good yesterday his brain probably needs a rest to consolidate. I have continued to read the stroke book and the author said when her left side of the brain was damaged she lost all that continual chatter that goes on in her head head, I asked John and he said there was no chatter in his head, but when I asked Ben he said he always speaks when he thinks, he has to write in his head to think in his head, he always prays out loud or at least moving his lips, I think in my head all the time and almost always pray silently in my head. Another difference in John is that he doesn't really care about theological differences anymore he says they are not important and he can't remember the srguments for and against anyway. We were joking this morning, I asked John what the five points of calvinism were and he after a few minutes said TURNIP, we all laughed. I said jokingly imagine your preaching from now on, we must all love each ot...

We have had a good day today, we stayed home from Church this morning because I wasn't too well and we felt it would be better for John to go in the evening. We listened to Rev C.D.Alexander on the blood of Christ. It was lovely to be reminded of all that Christ acomplished on the cross for us, how God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself. He spoke of Hebrews 9:14 ,"How much more shall the blood of Christ, who through the eternal spirit offered himself without spot to God, purge your conscience from dead works to serve the living God?" Mr Alexander said the Holy Spirit was in Christ offering Him up to the Father for our sins. The whole trinity was working at calvary for our salvation. This preaching lifted minds and hearts to heavenly things and turned us away from our present earthly troubles. We had scouse for dinner and settled into a restful afternoon, during the afternoon we began to ask John about various things he's knows well, English kings, 5 points...

Something we are learning through this experience is live each moment as it unfolds. If John seems more fluent we give thanks, if he is struggling or in pain we remind ourselves it is just a bad day. We have had a few visitors today which has been lovely. We were visited by some friends whose little girl is poorly, we were touched that they travelled so far to encourage us, we are so blessed to belong to the universal Church where we can pray for one another. Alice listened to John read today, she said he was very good, John also tried the compu-blox computer programme,(Alex stayed around to tell him what to do) he was a little discouraged that he forgot the colours, he kept on going until the colours came back to him, but I think the effort tired him out for the rest of the day. John and Naomi made our Christmas pudding which was good for reading, sequencing and physical co-ordination. John and Alice played Jenga which is so good for both of them, Alice gets to play a game with Dad an...

It is amazing the way the Lord goes before us, He know what we need even before we ask Him. This has been so true in terms of John. About a year ago Naomi lent me a book called the brain that changes itself, it was a book about brain plasticity. The idea that the brain is not hardwired and once one part is damaged the other parts can take over and be trained to develop new connections. I was very excited about this idea, I realised that a lot of the work we had done with Alex had used brain plasticity. The first thought I had ,when I realised that John's brain had been damaged was , we will re-train his brain he will get better, we can do this. The strange thing is I change in my outlook from hour to hour, one moment I am despairing and the next I feel we can do this with God's help. John is experiencing the same up and downess, one minute he feels he can beat this and the next minute he feels he will never get better. He has been struggling spiritually since the stroke happene...

My dear husband had an angioplasty on Monday the 22nd November, during the procedure a piece of plaque came loose and went into his left temple lobe causing him to have a stroke. I have decided to share our journey as it unfolds, many friends have told us about people who have made a full recovery, I thought it would be helpful to others to share our own journey as it unfolds. From this vantage point we don't know where our journey will end, but as believing Christians we believe God is with us and will carry us through. I thought I would begin by sharing some of my husbands recollections it has been a struggle for him to share this but with patience we have a record of his perceptions of that day when his life changed,"at a stroke". My wife Sylvia has helped me with this, I struggle to write it all so she has listened to my thoughts and set them down for me. I have decided to set down a record about my time spent in my stroke, in an effort to learn about my journey. On ...